Outer Boundaries and Inner Boundaries

Practicing inner boundaries and outer boundaries are two different things. Yet when they are practiced together, our true power becomes even stronger.

Outer boundaries might look like speaking up, saying no, and expressing yourself with clarity and confidence. Many people practice this in different ways. However, healthy outer boundaries are not about becoming forceful, argumentative, or using an angry voice when navigating relationships. Sometimes those reactions come from a fear-based belief: "If I'm not tough, I won't win."

Every time, you want to speak up, is it because you want to win an argument or simply just want to be understood? Pay attention to your intention since it will determine the way you’ll express yourself even without knowing.  You do not need to appear tough just to win, you can just assert your needs and wants with kindness, to be truly understood.

True outer boundaries look different. They are rooted in honesty, kindness, and self-respect. They allow you to express your feelings authentically—not to protect yourself from others, but to honor yourself. Every time you practice healthy outer boundaries, you naturally attract people who resonate with the energy you bring.

Now let's talk about inner boundaries.

Inner boundaries are quieter. They are the practice of healthy detachment and protecting your inner peace by not becoming consumed by draining conversations or situations.

Perhaps you've found yourself in a situation you couldn't simply walk away from—a meeting, a family gathering, or a conversation where someone continued to focus on problems without looking for solutions. Have you been in a situation where you couldn’t leave the space or couldn’t impose outer boundaries because of certain difficult relationship dynamics?

Practicing healthy inner boundaries shouldn't make you afraid of navigating difficult situations. It is a tool to protect your inner peace when applied in the right way. It anchors you in knowing, at a deeper level, what is yours to carry and what is not.  This may simply look like listening with compassion without absorbing another person's emotional state. It is detaching yourself from other people’s emotional state.  

Outer boundaries protect your outer world that acts as a filter to your environment, while inner boundaries protect your inner world that acts as a shield to whatever difficult relationships you may be navigating with.

Should you find yourself in a place of discomfort, it may simply be your body asking you to honor your boundaries—both outer and inner.

Find peace. Find authenticity.

— Glizell